Televangelizashun of the Nashun - Obama to be Draped at Notre Dame Commencement

In keeping with the Display Rules of the New Messiah (wherein religious symbols are to be shrouded prior to photo ops in which His Majesty may have advent to appear), His Highness, El Comandante Obama, Mohammed be screwed by a goat, will hereafter shroud his head in a burka while in public.

His Elegance, Allah shit on his head, was quoted as saying "...in this post-partisan age I have heralded in with my special abilities bequeathed by Allah himself, bless be to his greatness, I will not have infidels gaze upon my ebony locks... nor tolerate any Personage before Me. Oh, and in the spirit of this new post-partisan ecumenism, fuck conservatives, gun owners, and small business owners... godammit, who screwed with the teleprompter?"

Daily Dose From the Twatter

Spring is in full swing, and we're all fortunate enough to be graced with the potential of catching the Swine Flu.

The Twatter reminds you: for the safety of others, don't leave home without your rubbers ... you never know what you may catch out there.

Thank you and good day.

Daily Twatter - The Randomness Begins

Today starts a new daily dose of fun - think of it as your little morsel of goodness from the Twatter.

Shenanigans - love them or hate them? They come in all shapes, sizes and calibers.

Word of advice: they'll strike at any time, so you best be prepared.

Free Tax Payer Subsidized Health Care! Apply Now!

Better to be PC and dead - than "intolerant" and alive...

The Swine Flu (to the Love Boat Theme)

Death, exciting and new
Come on kids. He's expecting you.
Death, life's final reward.
Come on now, he'll float back to you.

The Swine Flu, soon will be making another run
The Swine Flu, promises something for everyone
Set a course for Camp FEMA,
Your mind on a new world trance.

Life won't hurt anymore
It's a jagged rock on a barren shore.
Yes Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaath! It's Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaath! (hey-ah!)

Swine Flu soon will be making another run
The Swine Flu promises something for everyone
Set a course for Camp FEMA,
Your mind on a new world trance.

Life won't hurt anymore
It's a jagged rock on a barren shore.
Yes Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaath! It's Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaath!
It's Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaath!

It's the Swine Flu-ah! It's the Swine Flu-ah!

Swine Flu (to the Born Free theme)

Swine Flu, it's not really food born
It's more like it's air born
It jumps from you in-to me!

Fever, and death they surround you
The meds won't astound you
So fly! Fly and be free!

Living, where no walls divide us
It's free as the wind blows
As if there's no need to hide

Swine Flu, it's not really food born
It's more like it's air born
It jumps from you into me!

When Abortion Just Doesn't Cut It